To leave or to stay?

To leave or to stay? That’s the problem.. I have no answer, not jet at least.. If I leave, I’ll be realizing my dreams, I’ll make a career; but if I stay, I’ll be with the people I love.. The thing is that my friends and family will always follow me, and if I go I know that in less than a year they’ll come to me.. Now, will I make it without them for a little while? I guess.. 

I know I need to do what’s best for my future and right now the only thing that is giving my future a chance to grow, is to leave.. So I should follow my dreams as an Artist, and if it’s meant to be, I’ll see my loved ones very soon


Boarding School

I’m in a boarding school and I’m having a great time with my room mates and I think that this is a one time experience. We get to live together and experience the chance to grow up together and create a family, at the boarding school we have all types of people who come from different parts of Italy.. We became a family and I think that that’s the best part of this journey because the friendships you make inside that building may last a long time if you take care of them.. Like in everything else in life.. In my room we’re six and we have the best time of the world together and I’m the smallest one in the room so they take care of me like a little sister.. We’re a small boarding school, meaning that counting also the boys we’re only 65 kids..but it’s better this way because we get to know everyone better.. I hope nothing changes because I have awesome friends here and at home and butterflies are starting to grow when I see a certain person.. I think I said enough for now..

A love can only last when you make last..

People think like this: “I want what I can’t have, but when I get it I don’t want it anymore..” It’s not fair for us, who are suffering because of your little games. I speak, I guess for my own experience that people are stupid, sure I may be only 15 but I grew up with adults so I’m more open minded, which here they think it’s weird.. Going back to the point, I gave him my everything and the way we close things is: “thanks for everything you did, goodbye, have a nice life” what the heck!! I may not want to be with you anymore but I still love you, I will always care for you.. What I’m I supposed to do? I’m a “writer” and I can’t even write a story because I’m always thinking “what if”.. I know one day I’ll met someone so will make me laugh harder, smile better, but until that day, what am I suppose to do? Sit around and wait!!!
I just found my new motto: “I’ve heard you’re a player, nice to met you, I’m the coach” hahaha nice eh
I want to know what am I doing here, I mean, why was I sent on earth? To suffer? What do I have to do with my life? Because I have no idea.. And there’s no one that is helping me find the right direction..

Everyone has a dream

Everyone has a dream of becoming someone important.. yeah.. sure it would be nice if we could be famous, rich, etc.. But for now we should be the way we are, don’t change anything, your perfect just the way you are.. We’re all special in our own way, and we can be happy with what we have.. Meaning the people that surrounds us not the materials we have.. People can’t buy happiness, or love, like we can’t buy people.. We are who we choose to be.. If you choose to be unhappy that’s your problem.. I
wanted to be a famous actress, and I know one day I’ll become one, but until that day arrives I’ll just have fun with my friends and family.. Life is short and we should live it to the maximum.. “Live everyday like if it wore the last day”
Don’t let anything stop you from becoming who you want to be, and if there’s a wall stopping you to get to your dream brake the wall don’t wait for it to fall by itself.. Because you could wait forever and forever doesn’t exist in real life..

I want to be happy you like it or not

I still have a little time, to think things through.. I want to be happy, to live life the way I want to, not the way other want. I always made everyone proud of what I was doing, but really I was doing what they wanted me to do, so now that I made my own choices they don’t like them because it’s not going as they wanted it. So what! If I like what I’m doing why can’t people be happy for me, I always made them happy even if it meant that I was unhappy.. So if they are unhappy now because of my choices it’s their fault not mine. “I have a life I have a choice and I choose to be happy even it they are unhappy; but this is my life and I want to live it this way!” For the first time in forever I’m happy and it’s not because of material but because I found someone who makes me smile and be happy with just simple words like: “Goodmornig beautiful”.. This type of words can change the behavior of a person for an entire day.. Actions do speak louder than words but it wouldn’t kill anyone if someone wrote to that special person such a message.. Everyone deserves to be happy in their live and not everyone finds the person to be happy with, so if you do don’t let them escape, save them tight.. Because if you don’t, someone, someday, will come and show you that she/him was worth the fight and the time..

What is your decision?

A year ago I would’ve never pictured my life the way it’s now.. In a year a lot of things can change, people change, the world changes.. I personally discovered things that I never thought possible.. And it’s still the beginning of the year, I’m afraid just of the thought that more things can change.. A new year just started and that means that I’m going to go through a new adventure.. Who knows what the adventure will be, or if it’s going to end well, but I want to take that chance.. Because life is made to live it to the maximum.. No regrets! When you make a decision you have to stick to that decision until the end, against everything and everyone.. Everyone needs to make mistakes in their life to grow up.. And this is my life. So my decisions and mistakes.. You don’t like it, not my problem you’re not me.. And I don’t wake up everyday to make you happy.. Everyone needs to make their own decisions in life.. What is your decision? What will you do in this new year?

What do you think about an adventure?

It’s a new year and it’s a new life.. A new beginning, but then why do I feel so bad? Maybe it’s because I’ve lost confidence with a really special person or just the fact that nothing has changed jet. I know it’s the first 10 days of 365; but I want and need something to change, so I can feel normal again.. I need adventure! My normal life has always been a roller coster and now it’s like that roller coster started without me. Every once in a while everyone needs an adventure, something crazy to do, don’t you think so?